Written by StubbornGorilla
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Friday, 29 April 2016

image for Johnny Football's nickname revoked by NFL
"I'm just the skin of a dead pig, but I still don't want anything to do with that jerk."

After a string of immature, unprofessional and downright criminal incidents, Johnny Manziel has been stripped of his right to associate himself with football by the NFL. The infamous party animal/misogynist is now left with a gaping maw where his identity used to reside, at least in his own head.

Initially it was suggested that they might let Manziel change his name to Roger Goodell Jr. and claim the title of "the Second Most Hated Man in Football", but the league ultimately decided to cut ties with the embattled idiot altogether.

An unnamed NFL representative spoke to the matter, "He can be Johnny whatever the hell else he wants, but he's not Johnny Football."

Fans and detractors have thrown out a number of new alternative personas for Manziel to explore.

"If Johnny wants to continue basing his image on his career "Johnny Jumpsuit" is looking like his next best option," one fan suggested.

"Johnny Jerkwad" and "Johnny Jailbait" were also popular suggestions.

One Pittsburgh Steelers fan suggested Manziel go with "Johnny Cleveland" because, "he can celebrate his home town and probably share in the legacy of being a perpetual loser for the next couple decades."

Whatever his ultimate fate becomes, it is clear that Johnny Manziel's days as Johnny Football are well behind him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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