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Topics: Cricket, Ian Botham

Wednesday, 6 December 2006

image for Botham Slams Sorry England
Another one gone for a duck

Ian Botham has slammed England's sorry performance in the second test in Calcutta against the Aussies.

Speaking on Sky TV the former England star said:

"I've never seen anything like it we just fell to pieces. One minute we were coasting then the next we were completely rubbish and chucked in the towel"

Botham, looking a bit three sheets, went on to pontificate:

"I blame the boss, that Swedish bloke that's always shagging the birds. He's costing the MCC a fortune and what's he done? He's played the lad Rooney who's out of sorts and he's done nothing at all! And the kit's a joke too! Somebody should tell Spam that knee-length shorts went out in the fifties and that the 4-2-4 formation he insists on playing is old hat!"

When anchorman David Coleman asked him what the answer to England's woes is 'Beefy' looked at him shrugged and said:

"Christ knows Des. It's all a total mess if you ask me! I think it was a big mistake making Fred Flinstone skipper; the boy Rubble's a safer pair of hands in my opinion and could command more respect in the dressing room from the likes of Beckham and Co."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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