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Saturday, 2 April 2016

image for Gronk Sets Up a Dunk for Tom Brady

NEW ENGLAND--When you blow into a conch, you never know what wild animals will show up.

Earlier this week Tom Brady summoned his receivers by the time-tested method that won favor in The Lord of the Flies. It was also a means to gather the media in that deplorable Rod Burgundy movie a few years back.

We saw Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola, apparently working as police officers in the off-season, answer the call with a run to the donut shoppe. One bite for the most appalling calorie laden gluten packed dognut in their hands.

Gronk came running out of the woods, breathless, apparently out of shape for his Mal de Merry shipboard party. Brady made him do five pushups as penance.

Then, the most troublesome houseguest since Edgar Allen Poe had some friends over to the House of Usher, Gronk showed up at Tom's palacial estate for April Fool's Day.

He caught Tom napping.

What appears to be an attempt to show that Tom overslept is actually a creepy moment when Gronk is dunking Tom's hand in a bowl of rosewater with the conch next to it.

Anyone who knows life in a college dorm understands the upshot of dunking Tom's pinky into the warm water. Yes, April Fool's Day is the cruelest day of a cruel season.

We suspect the foul play is actually a set up for laughs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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