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Tuesday, 5 December 2006

image for Hawking vs. Klitschko - Title fight given green light
Hawking's secret weapon

Oxford academic Professor Stephen Hawking insisted that he can make it all the way after his historic defeat of 'Iron' Mike Tyson last night.

In a thrilling eight rounds at Madison Square Gardens, the wheelchair bound boffin dodged and weaved like a ballerina whilst simultaneously delivering a stunning array of lefts and rights from a veritable arsenal of punch combos.

"I knew Mike was beginning to tire and as soon as his guard dropped in the eighth, I hit him with all I had." said the battling academic.

Hardhitting heavyweight Hawking's secret weapon is a boxing glove on a spring which rockets out of his wheelchair.

"I call it the space shuttle," he laughed, "because it sends you into outer space."

Hawking, speaking from his training camp in Nevada claims that he has what it takes to lift the coveted heavyweight crown.

"I want a bout with Klitschko and I think I've earned it. Don (King, boxing promoter) has said it could happen as early as December."

Last night, Mr King confirmed that the World Heavyweight challenge will take place at Caesar's Palace on the 9th December.

"Stephen stands a good chance," said the convicted murderer, "He is training hard and in good shape considering he's in a wheelchair."

Hawking's meteoric rise has stunned the boxing community and given hope to a raft of disabled fighters, including American singer Stevie Wonder who ended Amir Khan's title hopes last July.

The Professor is known as 'The Terminator' because of his devastating finishing and trademark robotic voice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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