Written by StubbornGorilla
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 25 January 2016

After yet another pedestrian showing in the NFL postseason, Carson Palmer has determined he will air his frustration in a new book.

"This isn't just a money grab," the hapless quarterback stated, "I really do hate the playoffs."

From his first playoff appearance that started promisingly only to be finished after one throw, courtesy of a low hit be Kimo Van Olhoffen, to his most recent meltdown at the hands of the Carolina Panthers, there is obvious evidence to back Carson Palmer's statement.

His playoff INT-TD ratio at 7-5 isn't the worst all time, but its not great either.

Arizona Cardinals Head Coach, Bruce Arians tried to take away some of Palmer's pain from his most recent playoff flounderings, "It wasn't all his fault" Arians stated. He did add under his breath, "but he ain't no Kurt Warner, either."

The TV rights to his memoir is already being pursued by several networks. Rumors suggest that Dennis Quaid is being tapped to play a Carson Palmer of the not-to-distant future, and will deliver the story in flashback as a bitter disgruntled football analyst on Monday Night Countdown.

Despite the fact that he hasn't even started this first book Palmer has expressed interest in the possibility of doing a follow-up book titled, "I Hate the Steelers".

"If there is one thing that I hated as much as the playoffs, it was playing against the Steelers. Those championship stealing bastards call all go to hell!"

Make StubbornGorilla's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

9 11 14 5
41 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more