Written by Dated90sCatchphrase
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Thursday, 7 January 2016

Donning his lucky team jersey and some disheveled levi jeans, local man Stan Malone sits anxiously on his stadium seat completely absorbed in the NFL game.

Casting aside all other activities and plans that could improve his life, Stan nervously watches to see if one player is able to accurately throw an oval shaped ball to another player. "Touchdown!" he yells as his team is able to take the ball to the other side of the field, adding no value to his life whatsoever.

"We're going all the way this year!" he exclaims to the other altruistic patrons who have dedicated much of their time and money on watching something that will have little to no social impact on the world.

At press time, Stan could be seen buying team merchandise that will deplete his wealth and provide little self-improvement while allowing the NFL QB to buy another beachfront house.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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