Former cricketing legend Ian Botham has tonight branded the Australian cricket team as a bunch of cheats who are nothing more than descendants of convicts.
In a sensational outburst 'Beefy' has suggested that the only reason the Aussies stuffed England in the first Ashes test of this series is because they made us play in the middle of the night.
Botham, puffing on a spliff told The Spoof:
"I was commentating for Sky so I know that it was night time in England when the match was played. This of course gave the advantage to the Aussies as it was actually daytime for them.
Just ask yourself this. Look at how we did 'em last summer in England when we played at the proper time. That shows that the only way they can beat us is to cheat!"
Beefy Botham is of course no stranger to controversy and his chequered past is well documented. One minute he's winning a test for us virtually single-handed and the next he's in deep shit, off his face on drink and dope and putting his missus through hell.
The Spoof asks if therefore we can take anything he says seriously.
Mind you fair play to him as he has done all those walks for charity so we suppose we could give him the benefit of the doubt.