Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 5 October 2015

image for Liverpool sack manager and replace him with a dead Beetle!
Who needs a new manager when you can "Imagine" you are brilliant, ask John!

In pure desperation and a determination to win back former glory, Liverpool have sacked their manager and replaced him with a dead Beetle!

It was a difficult decision sacking their present manager, but after a long debate, 5 minutes, the Liverpool board of directors decided to give a not so "Jolly Rogers" the boot, big time and he was last spotted in Malaga enjoying a bit of R & R with a couple of million freshly transferred on to his bank account (The less said about that the better!).

Liverpool have now decided to carry on without a manager because they feel there is no need to continually throw money at wasters who come and go pretending that reaching former glories is just a question of flashing Liverpool's cheque book at average players who fail miserably, may I mention a certain Signori Balotelli (Who?)! The Liverpool board has now decided to erect a statue of a dead Beetle at the Kop end and hope to god the fans stop chanting that awful song, "You'll never walk alone" written six thousand years ago by another waste of space, Gerry & The Spacemakers I believe.

By erecting the statue of a dead Beetle (name changed for legal reasons) Liverpool are hoping the team, the fans, and the world will sit up, pay attention as a real inspriational song is blasted out over the loudspeakers called "Imagine"! And that visiting teams will shit in their pants and tremble at the knees when they hear Yoko Ono do a live version of the classic; enough to trounce any opposition!

A brilliant plan that could only have been invented by Scousers (native, indigenous people from this slave-ridden city) because without a dead Beetle or two, Liverpool would never have achieved such global fame, and maybe that would have been better!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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