Written by Nick Hobbs
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Sunday, 16 August 2015

image for Chelsea Players Asked Not To Dive During Man City Match
John Terry, looking for a signal of whether he's injured or not.

Chelsea players have been implored not to dive during their head to head with Manchester City, due to a lack of medical staff on their bench.

After Jose Mourinho's bizarre sending off of his medical team, it has left the London side facing a difficult 90 minutes on Sunday.

The majority of the teams tactics rely on rolling about on the grass, clutching a leg and begging the referee for a penalty/free kick/sending off. But without any medics on hand to run on and rub a damp cloth on them, top brass fear the game may take weeks to complete.

The players rely on the medical staff to tell them when it's safe to get up, but without them they could potentially be laying there, rolling around for hours.

Reports suggest that Mourinho will adopt a hand gesture system to alert payers whether they are actually injured, or whether they should get back up and get on with it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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