German footy legend, Basti Schweinsteiger, has joined Manchester United and the tabloids in the UK are having a fab day in the troughs attempting to poke a pig up the rear end!
His name translated into English is "Pigclimber'! Now established Sheepshaggers in the UK mainly, Welsh footy fans, and Leeds United fans, are outraged that a 'Pigclimber' has entered their world and are demanding that Basti's shirt only have Basti written on it and not Schweinsteiger, because it is an insult to their elveated position as being a bunch of asshole seekers!
Basti, of course is unaware that UK soccer supporters are generally a bunch of pissed up sheepshagging Hooligans, so everytime a pink pig is thrown into the air at away games he will just think;
"Dummkopfs" Which is absolutely correct of course!
Louis van Gaal is over the moon at his latest recruit and although Rooney has pigs ears, it doesn't matter because Holland are the largest exporters of live pigs on the planet and he feels having a German 'Pigclimber' in his team will boost Dutch-German relations (not particularly good BTW) and help the Dutch economy.
At Basti 'Pigclimber's' first home game Pink Floyd have offered to send their infamous Flying Pig across the stadium to welcome the first ever Kraut to wear the famous red shirt of United!
Man City are planning a coup d etat by purchasing an Argentinian Bull without cojones to spoil United's OktoberFest festivities as Basti is presented, it promises to be a over-heated Bar B Q!
The Special One, Mourinho, just laughed it off and said "Mierda!"