Sepp Blatter, Non-Stick-Coated CEO of FIFA, has been re-elected despite not winning a two-thirds majority against Jordan's Prince Ali bin al-Hussein, who withdrew after the first round of voting.
Furious that allegations of corruption were also laid at his door, Blatter faced the Press outside his new Russian Dachau this evening.
"I am not corrupt, neither am I racist," he stormed. "White, brown, colour is unimportant to me. It's what is in the envelope ..." he faltered.
UK pundit Gary Linsqueaker said, "Fifa president Sepp Blatter claims corruption allegations surrounding the Qatar 2022 World Cup bid are motivated by racism. Racism! That's typical of that cheese eating Swiss bastard."