Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 19 March 2015

image for English clubs form their own Champions league competition!
Lonely English fan singing "You'll never walk alone" alone in Europe again, it's just too embarrassing!

After the dire performances of all English clubs in the European Champions League the FA (Football Association for our US friends) has decided to withdraw all English clubs because it is fed up having an embarrassing red nose every time it has to explain why English clubs are so dismal to UEFA.

From season 2015-16 no English clubs will participate in Europe and there will be a GB competition including Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish clubs.

Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, has greeted the plan because at last, after 18 consecutive years of competing in Europe and winning zilch, he might actually win something. Chelsea, Man City and Liverpool, perennial losers in Europe also welcome the change and only Manchester United, who will now join the Mickey Mouse Dutch league, vehemently protested about the decision because their manager, Louis van Gall, stubborn as a Portuguese mule, feels his United can actually conquer Europe again if Messi and Ronaldo break their legs and Bayern Munich are found out to be a bunch of right wing Nazis (fat chance of that!) and get thrown out of the competition.

European reaction was quite cool and in fact most countries were quite happy that English hooligans will not be invading their territories for many a year, however a spokesman for Heineken Beer, was quite upset due the fact that English Hooligans booze the most whilst abroad and having no English clubs in Europe would seriously dent their multi-billion profits!

More as we get it from ex-still-Nazi-Sepp B+++++r (Name hidden for defamatory reasons!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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