Written by Leo Montford
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Wednesday, 18 March 2015

image for Purple Aki Signs-Up As Cage Fighter
Many Heavyweights are now trying to lose weight to become Light-Heavyweights

Mega Fighting Championship (MFC) has announced today that it has signed Liverpudlian convicted criminal and bodybuilder Akinwale Arobieke: otherwise known as 'Purple Aki' to a lucrative deal with the company.

Purple Aki is set to step in the Octagon later this year and will be performing in the Heavyweight weight division and despite having no experience of MMA - it's been said that "He really doesn't need any".

Purple Aki is a notorious criminal and has been arrested a number of times for his bizarre crimes of inappropriately touching men's muscles and is currently serving a permanent ban on muscle touching, however MFC promoters have been successful in over-lifting that ban, but only during fights and training.

MFC president Lady Black claims "I've been watching Aki closely and we have something special here. I mean we've seen fights end in seconds, ears flying off heads during fights and have had some very graphic and extreme spectacles, but before today I had never seen a heavyweight fighter so intimated of another fighter that they actually tried to desperately climb out of the octagon while screaming during a test-fight. Aki just has that unmatched presence and he just puts fear into the hearts of men like no one else before him. It's quite extraordinary"

Current MFC Heavyweight Champion Pansy Basher took to Twitter to say "This Purple Aki guy that's been signed to MFC. I don't know what makes him so special, but I'm not scared of him. I'll fight him, I'll fight King Kong, I'll fight Jaws, I'll Fight The Exorcist." A fan eventually sent Basher Purple Aki's Wikipedia entry and Basher has not commented since, but it has now been rumored that he has since then bought a used car firm in Porto Alegre.

Purple Aki is not allowed to comment at this time, but he will make his MFC debut later this year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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