Written by LEDHEAD
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Tuesday, 10 March 2015

UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, went public today with his immigration spearhead, 'Boot out the Soccer Wetbacks'.

Wetbacks is derogatory slang for illegal Mexican immigrants who attempted crossing the Rio Grande river into the US which originated from the 1940's. The term Wetback easily described the swimmer' s attire after making their baby-turtle like run for freedom.

What bothers Mr Farage is the number of foreigners playing football in Premier league Football in England:

'It's come a long way from the leather ball and mud of the 1960s. Over the last 30 years or so an alarming number of foreigners appear to have 'swam' their way into top notch English Clubs.

'Arsenal and Everton now have the lowest contingent of players from Great Britain. Even some of the English born players have very suspicious surnames.'

He likened the situation to that of Polish plumbers who now had a total monopoly of the non registered Corgi community:

'A growing number of unemployed English Footballers are being overlooked and it makes a complete farce of the English apprentice/ academy system.'

His new legislation will be put into force in the first year of his party's leadership and will include a vetting camp of foreign footballers attempting to gain access to the UK, an audit of existing foreigners playing in England, an in depth look at sham marriages relating to the game and a hard look at non English Football managers.

'There could be a very large ship leaving the UK by Christmas. It's a very long list and I know a lot of out of work English footballers and managers will be dead chuffed when the hear about our new policy. It could return footballing wages to the likes of the 40's and 50's instead of the exorbitant salaries commanded by these footballing illegals. I remember the good old days when weeks salary was ten and six and the players were entitled to play for England', said Mr Farage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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