Federal Investigators are looking into allegations that this years Superbowl was a fixed game. Insiders at the FBI have revealed that information attained through long time informers and NFL insiders has led them to question the decision by the Seattle Seahawks to throw the ball on 1st and goal for the possible game winning touchdown.
"This was obviously a fixed game" said one fan, "the decision to throw the ball away on first and goal was unbelievably bone headed".
When you look at the last minute of the game it really does look like the fix was in. The play before the game loosing interception looked like a fluke reception by Jermaine Kearse with the ball falling onto the receivers chest by mistake resulting in a complete pass.
After that it looks like the Seattle Seahawks intentionally threw an interception to rookie Malcolm Butler to give the game over to the New England Patriots wrapped up with a bow.
"We've interviewed Seattle's offensive coordinator" said Agent Red Redington, "when we ask him about the thought process behind the stupidest decision in football history his reply was indecipherable by any standards of communication we understand". His reply? "Well we had 3rd and 4th downs coming up and that is what we were playing for!". ?????? It doesn't even sound like he's answering the same question we were asking.
When pressed about the issue he just broke down and started crying like a baby with a full load in his diaper. When we left him in the interrogation room he was in a fetal position sucking his thumb and whimpering uncontrollably.
No one in the entire Seattle Seahawks could come up with a reasonable explanation either. Mostly they just mumbled garbled sounds that were not really English words at all.
Everyone in the United States Justice Department has come to the conclusion that this has to be the only answer that makes any sense.
"So obviously a fix by organized crime syndicates. Probably Alquida or Islamic Nation operatives", surmised one Congress woman, "they'll do anything to compromise our lifestyle. They understand how important football is to us. If we loose our faith in the honesty of football what's left for America? Bookie induced terrorism, plain and simple" was her conclusion.
One Senator thought the whole thing just stank, he guaranteed his office would be doing a thorough investigation.
From the corner of Sunset and Vine in beautiful downtown Hollywood Calif. 90028
Buck E Filbert