Written by D P Whitehead
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Saturday, 15 November 2014

PARIS - French authorities say that Tiger Woods is on the loose near Disneyland Paris, one of Europe's top tourist destinations, and have urged hot women in three towns to stay indoors.

The town of Montevrain sent out a news alert on its Facebook page Thursday saying that the golfer was spotted in the brush behind some tennis courts and a soccer field. The field is about 5 1/2 miles from Disneyland Paris.

Around 60 police, fire and other security forces were trying to track the sex crazed golfer, said Cedric Tartaud, chief of staff for the Montevrain mayor.

Police were using a helicopter to help search for the sex mad beast, and a sex therapist was also drafted in to aid in the search, Seine-et-Marne authorities said.

Police and rescue squads at the scene have roped off a security perimeter, authorities added and urged all females between the ages of 21 and 87 living in Montevrain, Chessy and Chalifert to remain indoors. If they had to travel, police advised them to stay in their cars.

The Parc des Felins Golf Course, about 18 miles from Montevrain, said in a statement on its web site that all of its golfers were accounted for and the randy golfer did not come from there.

EuroDisney, the operator of Disneyland Paris, said it has no Pro golfers in the theme park, so the errant Woods could not have come from them either. It wasn't immediately clear if any extra precautions had been taken inside the park.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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