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Monday, 14 July 2014

image for Uddersfield Town
udder

Huddersfield Town chairman Dean Hoyle has come up with a controversial plan to keep the grass nice and short during the summer months: he's let two cows lose on the pitch. He justified his bizarre decision by saying "It makes sense; cows naturally keep the grass lovely and short" He added "Our groundsman is 86 now and regularly mowing the grass is just too much for him."

Huddersfield Town star Adam Clayton moaned "It's ridiculous; in training we practice lovely flowing moves only to find the ball Intercepted by a Cow's backside." Goalkeeper Alex Smithies has refused to dive until two large cowpats are removed from the goal line. Groundsman Stan Staniforth was not too keen on the plan though. He said "Mowing the grass is an absolute doddle compared to following the cows around shovelling up their dung."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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