Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 27 June 2014

image for Qatari Shaikh offers Roman Abramovich $3bn for Chelsea Football Club
Miss Kasha's got the hump about not being consulted

Doha, Qatar - An oil-rich nabob from the gas state of Qatar has brought a three billion dollar smirk to the Russian mobster's face.

Shaikh Mustapha Pee bin Dishdasha, son of the Emir, is even throwing in some spare gas wells, a 50ft ocean-going yacht and his stunning concubine camel called Miss Kasha.

The deal could make him the new owner of Chelsea Football Club.

Lawyers studying the proposals said today Abramovich's number crunchers are evaluating the offer despite persistent rumors that the Qatari doesn't give a fig about football.

And is merely planning on fracking under the Stamford Bridge site.

The football ground is located close to some disused South London gasometers which could easily store any fracked gas.

Abramovich himself is barred by law from fracking in Great Britain as part of his UK residency arrangements.

But a quiet 10% annual bung from any fracked profits could be in the pipeline if the sale of the Club goes ahead as expected.

CFC manager José Mourinho 'might' automatically qualify for some free camping gas canisters along with Frank Lampard and Fernandez Torres.

Kick-off at 7.30 tonight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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