Written by Auntie Jean
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Thursday, 19 June 2014

image for Spain's World Cup Annihilation Due To Players Fear Of Creepy Crawlies In The Grass
Swamp Leech

Spanish footballers are reportedly terrified of the nasty looking Creepy Crawlies that live in Brazil's World Cup grass. From an early age Spanish footballers have seen Daddy Long Legs in Spanish grass, which is similar to Rain Forest grass.

Superstition has it that the Daddy Long Legs are avenging voodoo ghosts of Aztecs who were murdered for their gold by Sherry soaked drunken Spanish holidaymakers. In spite of the gold being subsequently given to the British along with Gibraltar, the Spanish have had to suffer persecution by Daddy Long Legs ever since. Brazilian Daddy Long Legs fly straight out of the grass into people's ears and flutter all their 100 plus legs off into the inner ear according to Richard Attenborough.

Warned by their mothers about spiders and moths and things before setting off to play football in the Rain Forest, the players have been vulnerable to shouts of "Hey look there's a Papa Long Legs!" by their opponents.

Their swaggering confidence is easily dented by seeing a team mate with a giant Amazonian Swamp Leech attached to his leg. The Spanish Chief Coach told our reporter, "I'm putting them on "Get Me Out Of Here" training with their heads in boxes full of insects before the next match."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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