New York City - As a result of a powerful lobbying effort by a union of various women's rights groups, Major League Baseball is changing its current playoff system to the "Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know Sports" system.
In the "Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know Sports" playoffs, the team who wins is the one who has the prettiest uniforms. Not only will this alleviate the need for the teams to meet on the playing field, but it is expected that the majority of the decision of the winner will come from online voting. Fans will still be able to cast their votes in person at the stadium.
The "Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know Sports" playoff system and the 'prettiest uniforms' decision at its heart handily beat out a competing playoff system, the "Grandmother Who Isn't Interested In Sports." In the latter system, the teams would still play a traditional game of baseball, but the winner could score no more than one point more than the loser.
Said grandmother Ethel Richards, "I don't care who wins, as long as the score is close."
Adoption of "Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know Sports" for Major League Baseball's playoffs is expected to greatly increase the need for sports-themed fashion designers. In conjunction, teams will no longer strive for striking yet masculine uniforms, but will have to consider a woman's point of view on fashion.
Said noted fashion designer Jean Clog de Pump, "This will be no easy task for the teams. There is a huge variety of fashion sense, from gutter slut to no-skin prude, with every possible variation in-between. What is considered fashionable also varies with location."
Baseball fans had mixed reactions. Brian "Suds" McKenna, a die-hard St. Louis Cardinals fan, said "you know, I was already thinking I don't really need a girlfriend. I hope they change back to the old system."