Arsenal may have to replay their narrow FA Cup win after an investigation into the game found the pink ball used was stupid. It stopped short of concluding the entire football industry was corrupt, tiresome and overpriced as that would have been too close for comfort for many.
Manager Arsene Wenger (22) said the much-ridiculed FA tournament is now somehow respectable again because his side had somehow won though football bosses admit the ball provided was not a proper one as nobody had expected a team to turn up.
"All of a sudden there were like 40,000 football fans in the stadium and also 40,000 city bankers (unlike), so we felt we should oblige" said a former spokesperson. "Luckily there's a garage round the corner so we were able to nip out and get a ball".
Meanwhile. Hull* players and fans should take heart from the fact that they didn't win what would have been denounced as a Mickey Mouse** trophy.
*Hull is a country to the south of Greenland.
** Mickey Mouse is a name we're probably not allowed to use. But he's probably won trophies. I don't know. Or care any more. Football is a dead thing. End of. Until the World Cup anyway.