Written by Jack Allen
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Monday, 28 April 2014

image for Giroud "4th is OK for Arsenal, and so is Miranda!"
"You know! You lift them and keep them if you win something. It'll come to me. Talk to me later!"

After stating to ESPN that fourth place is good enough for Arsenal this season, Olivier Giroud has also revealed that he is fine with a cheese sandwich instead of a steak, and would settle for watching Miranda instead of Monty Python.

Olivier also stated that finishing fourth is a "successful season", and winning a trophy would be a "nice bonus". The shocking statements were made by the Arsenal striker who has seen his title chasing team bottle it harder than Steven Gerrard at a Greg Norman benefit gig over the past few months.

"Giroud has slotted in here nicely since his transfer a couple of years ago," said Arsene Wenger today. "He's got the right mentality to carry on unsuccessfully at the club, which is all we want from him. He wouldn't last a second at a club which follows through on its potential and wins those...those...shiny things. Oh! What are they called now?!"

As Giroud prepares to push Arsenal, but not too hard, into the Champions League qualification stage, it is clear that Olivier's teammates are still prepared to feed the ball to a player who has absolutely zero comedic taste.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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