Written by Burnred
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Thursday, 24 April 2014

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As the Snooker World Championships rumble on, and BBC2 views continue to nose-dive, Head of Snooker, Barry Hearn has come up with a plan. According to sources close to Hearn, he's approached snooker god, and cockney charmer Ronnie O'Sullivan to play blindfolded in Round Two. "We've asked Ron to consider the idea". Hearn continued, "He already can beat any player left handed, even with his shoe laces tied together, so we thought one more handicap wouldn't hurt him".

Ronnie, a devout Christian, is considering the idea, and believes Jesus will help him sink the pink, and come inside the brown. It's known that Ronnie can count his balls by sound alone.

Top female snooker referee Michaela Tabb is excited by the stunt, she's quoted as saying "Ronnie's got a choice of several different holes, he can do it blinfolded anytime".

Ronnie was unavailable for comment, but inside sources claim that he's keen on the idea. Former World Champion Dennis Taylor was unavailable for comment, as he'd fallen asleep commentating on the Marko Foo match. We'll keep you updated.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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