Written by Burnred
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Topics: Jesus, David Moyes

Thursday, 24 April 2014

image for David Moyes Wasn't the 'Son of God'
Beckham - The Seventh Disciple

Although crucified by both press and players, it was revealed this morning that Moyes wasn't 'the chosen one'.

Alex Ferguson had described the job of leading the 'Red Devils' as being as difficult as 'Moses parting the waves, or Noah building his ark, even Jesus couldn't manage this bunch of disciples'.

Rumours that Ryan Giggs played the role of 'Judas' and that Marouane Fellaini denied 'that he was a follower of Moyes' a cock could be heard crowing in the suburbs of Manchester this morning.

David Moyes was spotted in a branch of Lidl on Monday, by an eagle-eyed reader of the 'Spoof'. David Ledbetter told 'The Spoof', "Aye I spotted Moyes buyin' a load of white sliced bread and a few of those boxes of cheap sparklin' wine".

Seen at a 'Travel Lodge' in Salford Monday Night, Moyes and the Manchester United squad (twelve players in total' had one final meeting before Moyes was over heard telling his squad "'Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have."

Moyes is due to be crucified by the press further tomorrow, rumours that John Wayne will be present are unfounded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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