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Topics: Boxing, retirement

Saturday, 12 April 2014

image for Anthony Mundine to retire from boxing and become speech writer
Go Go Gadget Glove

Sydney, Australia- This evening in a televised news conference Anthony "the man" Mundine has announced he will give up boxing.

This follows a gutsy but outclassed buttkicking he recently received at the hands of Joshua Clottey. Despite being beat, Mundine showed great tenacity and steadfast determination as he hit the canvas on five separate occasions but to his credit kept getting back up.

The man has not always been the most popular person in Australian and international sport. He has caused a lot of controversy in the past with things he has said and his viewpoints. More than half of Australia has turned up at their local pubs to watch Mundine hopefully get his head knocked off more than once.

38 year old Mundine has decided to retire immediately to work for an undisclosed shock jock in Sydney. It is believed he was offered the job to get the radio stations ratings up which apparently have been suffering in recent times.

"This is a great opportunity for the man to keep it real," he drawled in his trademark manner. "I am the best but I speak my mind like the great Mohammed Ali," he boasted, "I am getting older now and its time to hang up the gloves." Mundine has also received other job offers from a truck stop radio commercial in Karlgoolie to writing speeches for the Grand Mufti of Australia.

His retirement will be immediate and he will start work on Monday morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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