Written by D.Fall.
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Friday, 28 March 2014

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Full-body spandex unis coming to the NBA next year? Lebron is certainly not happy with the idea.

This morning Adam Silver, the NBA commissioner, has revealed that due to the overwhelming popularity of the new short-sleeved jerseys among both players and fans, the NBA is considering adding full-body spandex uniforms next season.

The commissioner has stated that this possibility is completely unrelated to the fact that the NBA will be adding sponsors to player uniforms next year: "No, it has nothing to do with the amount of ad space we could sell on a 7-footer's suit…"

The players seem to be heavily in favor of the proposed unis.

"I love the idea", said Carmelo Anthony of the New York Knicks, "Now I won't have to wear so many sleeves". "True dat", confirmed Houston Rockets' center, Dwight Howard.

Miami Heat superstar and longtime advocate of tights, Dwyane Wade, has also expressed his strong approval: "My kids like 'em - bofadem! And that's good cuz I'm a father first, ya know, father of the year. Dah, love dem boys".

Unfortunately, sources say there is still one player out there who is not yet on board with the idea of the new duds. That player is none other than the reigning MVP and face of the league, Lebron James: "Dude, I can't make a %$@#@# shot in those short-sleeved unis. How you think I'm gonna do with a full damn leotard? We should play shirtless instead. With that kinda flexibility, I'd shoot 90 percent from the field", he affirmed.

Mr. Silver is scheduled to have a sit down with the NBA Players Association and Lebron after this season's end to initiate official talks, but the odds are that the NBA will be making a bold fashion statement come next year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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