Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 March 2014

image for The Houston Astros Owner Promises The Astros Fans That The Team Will Do Better This Year Than They Did Last Year
Fans can buy a baseball autographed by any Astros player for 35¢.

HOUSTON - Word coming out of the Houston Astros front office is that the team will win more games than they did last year.

Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine spoke with the owner of the Astros Jim Crane who said that there is nowhere to go but up after the Stros compiled a horrible 2013 record of 51-111.

Confetti then brought out the point that the team had lost its last 15 games. Crane replied that by that time the season was almost over and a lot of the players were starting to suffer from fatigue, indecisiveness, and basic apathy.

Confetti asked the Astros owner about a 17-year-old pitching sensation from Osaka, Japan that the team is considering on signing.

Crane's eyes lit up as he said that one of their scouts had found Hoshiko Chinatsu pitching in a high school game in his native city of Osaka.

Chinatsu compiled a 24-0 record with an ERA of 1.03 as his team won the Japanese High School Championship.

Young Hoshiko who looks a little like Daisuke Matsuzaka has a fastball that's been clocked at 106 miles per hour and his curveball has registered up in the mid 90s which is astoundingly amazing.

SIDENOTE: Jim Crane told Confetti that right now they are still trying to convince Hoshiko's parents to let their son come to the United States. The parents say they need him to help them with their Saki Distributorship.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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