Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 1 March 2014

image for Jack Nicholson Tells Kobe Bryant He'll Pay For Him To Visit A Louisiana Voodoo Woman
The last Lakers game ball was given to one of the Staples Center's hot dog vendors.

LOS ANGELES - There isn't much joy in LakerLand these days as the boys in the purple and gold are currently sitting in last place in the NBA's Western Conference Pacific Division.

The Lakers own a dismal 20-39 record but insist that if Kobe Bryant there super star ball hog handler was playing they could possibly be 27-32 at least.

One of the most disappointed Laker fans is none other than Jack Nicholson the actor who through all of the losing is still the Lakers number one fan.

Jack recently spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and was asked how it feels to watch his team lose day in and day out.

Nicholson gave Reno a look that could peel the paint off of a Ford Mustang. He replied, "Well let me put it like this kid. It kinda feels like I'm a woman and I have just given birth to a 19 pound baby boy who for some inexplicable reason was born wearing a football helmet."

He was then asked what the team can do to start winning games. Jack smiled and said that they could insist that the opposing teams all wear blindfolds.

Jack then mentioned to Reno that he recently talked to Kobe and he told him that he will pay for him to fly down to Lake Charles, Louisiana and pay the nation's number one voodoo woman Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette a visit.

Nicholson said that Madam Lafayette is probably the only hope that the Lakers have of possibly making it to the playoffs.

In Other News. Sarah Palin says that the rumor that she has a tattoo of a moose on her butt is positively false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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