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Wednesday, 26 February 2014

image for Track Meet in Reverse at U of O's Hayward Field
Anyone willing to try this backwards?

EUGENE, OREGON - University of Oregon athletic officials have announced a new track meet in honor of Steve Prefontaine, a world-class middle and long distance runner, who along with Frank Shorter, Bill Rodgers, and Jim Ryun generated a running boom in the 1970's that has really never stopped.

"The meet, to be held at Hayward Field this summer, is called the 'The Pre Classic Rewind' and all races will be run backwards," declared Athletic Director Rudy 'Rooster' Higginbottton. "Pre would have loved this because while most anyone can run fast going forward, how many athletes can run fast going backwards? We expect to see some major upsets in the world of track by simply reversing the motion."

Sources say specially designed shoes, called 'Rewinds" are being made by Nike to offset the backward motion, and support the specific alignment of the body that is required when a person runs backwards. Each runner will be required to wear extensive protective gear due to the likelihood of stumbling, or colliding with someone while racing down the track with backs and bums to the finish line. The designers are envisioning running apparel that somewhat resembles a sleeker version of the Pillsbury Dough Boy with extra padding in the 'stern'."

"We haven't had anyone sign up yet", concluded Higginbottom, "but we are hopeful this track meet will attract the extreme sport athletes who like to take unusual risks and don't mind being laughed at by hysterical fans who love a good 'pile-up' on the track."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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