Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 23 February 2014

image for Tigers Woods Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn Threatens Him With Golf Club
Tiger has said that his girlfriend has to learn that with him golf is number one.

SAN FRANCISCO - Lindsey Vonn, the injured Olympic skiing champion, is reportedly at her wits end with boyfriend Tiger Woods.

The couple has been dating for about a year and Vonn has dropped hint after hint after hint that she wants to become the new Mrs. Tiger Woods.

Tiger, meanwhile has told close friends that his divorce from ex-wife Elin Nordegren cost his $110 million so he is in no hurry to head down that sandtrap again and lose another $100 million or so.

He has said that, as they say down on the dairy farms, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

Vonn hates that cliché and she has told Tiger that she is no cow.

A close friend of Tiger's reported that a few days ago Lindsey got so upset with her golfing honey that she threatened to hit him over the head with a 9-iron if he does not get the balls rolling toward the wedding chapel and soon.

SIDENOTE: Tiger confided in one of his best friends that no blonde woman is going to pressure him into marriage, especially when he knows that all he has to do is unzip his zipper about an inch or so and he will have gorgeous blonde women flocking to him like moths to a flame.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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