LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND - The International Olympic Committee announced today it is reconsidering Rio De Janeiro as the site of the 2016 Summer Olympics.
"Something very disturbing has come to our attention," says Jean Longet, spokesman for the Committee. "We feel the beaches at Rio will be much too distracting for the Olympic athletes, the press, and the fans that will attend the games. Anyone who takes a look at photos of the skimpy swimwear worn by 99% of the people on the beaches there, particularly the women, will know what we are talking about! We take the Olympics very seriously and frankly, we think the Rio Beach Scene will be detrimental to the Olympic philosophy which is contained in our motto: 'Citius - Altius - Fortius' which means Faster - Higher - Stronger."
The concern is that the athletes will fall short of their normal superior performances if they are constantly bombarded by the sight of beautiful women or men on tropical beaches and elsewhere through the city.
In response, the Rio Organizing Committee met in an closed emergency session to discuss how to handle the crisis, since significant work has already been done and their projected budget is $18 billion. After several hours of discussion, a spokesman for the Committee offered a solution, "In order to save our 2016 Summer Olympics, we will establish a moratorium on anyone showing skin between the neck and the knees during the Olympics until they are officially over."
The Rio Organizing Committee will now have to wait to hear the final deliberation of the International Olympic Committee. It is anticipated that significant numbers of protestors will gather forces once the "skin" moratorium is officially sanctioned.