SOCHI, RUSSIA Canadian athletes--primarily the francophones-- have been spotted wandering the streets of Sochi, phrasebooks and smartphones in hand, asking bewildered restaurateurs, shopkeepers, and ordinary citizens: "Where can we go to eat some poutine in this town? We like it hot, gooey, and a little salty."
Upon hearing news of this strange request, "Pwetty-Boy Pwethident" Putin ripped off his shirt, rubbed an ice cube over his nipples, mounted his horse, and rode into Sochi's main public square.
"Here I am, ladies", he announced. "And", he added, while coyly flipping his well-manicured eyelashes and fondling the horn of his saddle with his left hand, "If any cute boys from Canada would like a taste, I'm sure we can make arrangements."