Sochi - Two recent arrivals here are the latest viers for the two-man luge competition to be held at the Santi track. Just off the boat from what has been judiciously termed "a stealth voyage" are Messrs. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, representing the little known Dukedom of Illyria as first-time lugers for that principate.
Rumors have been flying post landing about the perils faced due to the inexorable wrath of their former coach, one melancholy Dane called Spitz Amletsen. Fortunately, the pair of refugee sledsters was granted in transit asylum and athletic aegis by Bud Orsino, current Duke of Illyria. Looking to chance the hazard on the Santi ice, the duo were turned out in their new lime-green jerkins and lemon-yellow hose with fuchsia cross-garters.
Though expected to enthusiastic to be in safe harbor now and brimming with verve for their upcoming runs, especially since Russki State Security caught and imprisoned Spitz Amletset as a crazed terrorist, the pair seemed somewhat understated. Queried about their current state and prospects, Mr. Guildenstern spoke up for the duo; "We're happy in that we are not over happy. On Fortune's cap we are not the very button." And then, after a pointed stare from Bud Orsino and a quick prod from Rosencrantz, "Oh, er, and YES, ILLYRIA IS NUMBER ONE!!!!"