Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 February 2014

image for Bermuda's Highly Touted Ski Jumper Forgot To Pack His Skis
Von Swinks shown skiing in Vermont.

HAMILTON, Bermuda - Von Swinks is a hero to the people of Bermuda. Ever since he was 3-years-old he has dreamed of one day going to the Winter Olympics and representing his country in the world games.

Since there was no snow in Bermuda, Swinks found it difficult as heck to practice ski jumping.

But he had very rich parents who paid for him to travel to Vermont and practice under one of the greatest ski jumpers of all time Woodland "Geronimo" Burfunsell.

Von quickly became very good and when he was 8, with the help of Burfunsell he was actually beating seasoned ski jumpers who were in their early 20s.

But as good as Von is, he does have one small flaw. He tends to be a little bit on the forgetful side.

And that is why Swinks forgot to pack his snow ski's when he left Bermuda for Sochi, Russia.

Luckily for him, a member of the Swedish ski jumping team had an extra pair of skis and she graciously allowed him to use them.

SIDENOTE: Von Swinks says that he will win a gold medal, or maybe a silver medal, or a bronze medal for sure for his beloved country Bermuda, the land where Bermuda shorts were invented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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