Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 February 2014

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The Sochi Olympic Committee will disqualify any athletes with illegal tattoos.

SOCHI, Russia - The president of The Sochi Olympics Organizing Committee has just made a statement that has angered many of the participating athletes; especially those from Germany.

Committee President Dmitry Chernyshenko has stated in no uncertain terms that he will not put up with any athlete having a tattoo that is illegal.

A reporter for Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich asked what constitutes an illegal tattoo.

Chernyshenko replied that an illegal tattoo includes any tattoos showing a naked woman, a nation's flag, any type of weapon, or a tattoo of gay or lesbian figures such as Rosie O'Donnell, Elton John, Queen Latifah, or Clay Aiken.

SIDENOTE: President Chernyshenko stated that any athlete found to have an illegal tattoo will immediately be disqualified from participating at Sochi plus he or she will be fined $415 [U.S.] and forced to return to his or her country as soon as possible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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