Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Thursday, 6 February 2014

image for The Sochi Olympics Organizing Committee Will Be Checking All Athletes For Any Illegal Tattoos
The Sochi Olympic Committee will disqualify any athletes with illegal tattoos.

SOCHI, Russia - The president of The Sochi Olympics Organizing Committee has just made a statement that has angered many of the participating athletes; especially those from Germany.

Committee President Dmitry Chernyshenko has stated in no uncertain terms that he will not put up with any athlete having a tattoo that is illegal.

A reporter for Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich asked what constitutes an illegal tattoo.

Chernyshenko replied that an illegal tattoo includes any tattoos showing a naked woman, a nation's flag, any type of weapon, or a tattoo of gay or lesbian figures such as Rosie O'Donnell, Elton John, Queen Latifah, or Clay Aiken.

SIDENOTE: President Chernyshenko stated that any athlete found to have an illegal tattoo will immediately be disqualified from participating at Sochi plus he or she will be fined $415 [U.S.] and forced to return to his or her country as soon as possible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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