Written by Wumf
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Wednesday, 5 February 2014

image for The Road To Sochi - Part One
Olympic hopeful Hauser nearing Eastern Canada

Himsell Hauser was an anxious child growing up in the suburbs of Weehauken,Wis. From a young age he found himself fascinated by the televised scenes on " ABC's Wide World of Sports " and knew that his destiny was a place on the Winter Olympics team.

Sochi was his goal and curling was his game! From a family too poor to afford a practice curler pot, he was forced to borrow a slightly wealthier neighbor's stewpot for backyard curling.

Himsell dropped out of school in the third grade to focus on his training, working out with weight's and graduating up the scale to heavier and more flexible sporting brooms. Now, at 19 years old and even more impoverished by his almost complete lack of education, he is finally on his way to the most important days of his life. After his third grade year when he learned to write in cursive. Himsell figures the trip that he must make on foot due to lack of funds will take approximately 9 months. We're with you all the way Himsell!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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