Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 20 January 2014

image for Tom Brady's Wife Gisele Bundchen Explains Why The Denver Broncos Beat The New England Patriots
NFL wives have nicknamed Gisele Bundchen "The Countess of Excuses."

DENVER - Hundreds of sports writers from all over the world have written why they feel the Denver Broncos defeated the New England Patriots 26-16.

Some blamed it on the fact that Tom Brady did not pass enough. Others blamed it on the fact that the Pats had lost their top receivers to free agency (Wes Welker), injuries (Rob Gronkowski), or prison (Aaron Hernandez).

One sports writer from Bisbee, Arizona simply said that the Patriots did not drink enough Gatorade.

Another sports reporter from Montpelier, Vermont, said somewhat tongue-in-cheek that the loss could be blamed on the faint marijuana aroma that hovered in the Colorado sky.

But perhaps the best excuse of all came from Gisele Bundchen, the wife of New England quarterback Tom Brady.

Bundchen, who works as an earrings model, said that the reason why her husband's team lost was because of the weather.

She stated angrily that the Denver weather was perfect and she pointed out that her husband's team is not used to playing in perfect weather.

She noted that the Patriots are used to playing in very cold, lousy weather.

She added that they play much better in horrible conditions such as in the rain, the snow, the sleet, and the ice.

SIDENOTE: When Denver quarterback Peyton Manning's mother heard about Bundchen's comment she rolled her eyes and said that maybe Gisele the Gazelle needs to return to her native Brazil and the Rain Forest where mosquitoes are so damn big they can actually mate with squirrels.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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