Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 January 2014

image for Danica Patrick's Nude NASCAR Calendar Is Flying Off The Book Store Shelves
Danica says she receives at least 30 marriage proposals a week.

CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just informed the national press that NASCAR racing cutey Danica Patrick's brand new 2014 Nude NASCAR Calendar is a tremendous hit.

ADGA stated that the calendar is presently the fastest selling of any 2014 calendar including those of Kate Upton, Britney Spears, and even the South American firecracker Sofia Vergara.

Bagby B. Buckleybox, spokesperson with ADGA, told the news media that the ironic thing is that Danica wears a 34A bra, whereas Sofia wears a 32F bra.

Buckleybox did point out that what Miss Patrick lacks in the boobs department she makes up in the caboose department.

ADGA contacted Danica, who was shooting a commercial for Jose Cuervo Tequila in Hollywood and asked her how she felt about the great success of her 2014 calendar.

Danica replied that she was totally thrilled and because of the calendar she has been asked to appear on the next edition of Dancing With The Stars.

SIDENOTE: Danica has also been invited by President Obama and Vice-President Biden to attend a good old-fashioned White House barbecue in her honor (once the weather permits of course).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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