Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 January 2014

image for The Philadelphia Eagles Shot Down By The New Orleans Saints
A representative with the Eagles organization said that fans broke the all-time record for single game beer sales.

PHILADELPHIA - The Eagles of Philadelphia hovered around their home stadium, Lincoln Financial Field, but in the end they lost the game in the final seconds on a Saint's field goal.

The Drew Brees-led Saints beat the Eagles 26-24 in an NFL Wild Card Game.

Play had to be stopped for a few minutes midway in the fourth quarter when an overzealous Eagles cheerleader, identified as Misty Migginfelt, 22, ran onto the field thinking that the game was over.

She said that a beer vendor told her that the game had ended and she needed to go and try and cheer up the Philadelphia players.

Saints guard Tim Lelito (#68) told Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette that the cold weather did not bother him one bit because he had on 4 thermal shirts and 4 thermal pants underneath his uniform.

New Orleans linebacker Kyle Knox (#58) told La Bamba that he noticed that two of the Eagles cheerleaders were trying to distract some of the Saints players because the two girls were not wearing any panties.

Zack Erts, a tight end with the Eagles (#86) said that he wishes that the friggin temperature had gotten down to 0 so that the Saints players would have been extremely uncomfortable and thus they would have fumbled the ball and dropped some passes.

SIDENOTE: Vice-President Biden stated that President Obama told him that he had won $2,700 on the game since he picked the Saints to win.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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