Written by Neil Levine
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Wednesday, 25 October 2006

image for Detroit Tiger Kenny Rogers Is Warned
A New Pine Tar Controversy

The Sports Wire---The Dearborn Independent is reporting that Detroit Tiger's left-handed pitcher Kenny Rogers has been ordered by team management "not to take a bath and especially not to wipe."

It has further been reported that Manager Jim Leyland has advised the leftie, "The Cards batters look like they are afraid of your nasty curve, your vicious fastball and your wicked changeup. Keep up the good work. Pig Pen and Charlie Brown would be proud of you."

St. Louis and other batters have been said to complain about "Roger's newly vile approach to baseball, in general, and pitching, in particular. Things are so bad, it no wonder nobody is hitting him."

Manager Leyland further states, "If the umpires check him out, what can they find? B.O? So what."

Opposing Manager Tony LaRussa has been quoted as complaining, "He used to stink in the postseason. Now he's got a devilish out pitch. It's not fair the tricks some people will resort to."

Rogers has been quoted as saying, "Nyah, nyah."

Major League Baseball is reported to be investigating this new public relations stink.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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