Written by Devin Rich
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Monday, 25 November 2013

It's official folks! After Sunday nights unfortunate turn of events, resulting in a "booty bump" given to San Diego's quarterback, Phillip Rivers, the NFL will now be adding "booty bumps" to a long list of unnecessary penalties.

"My personal space was invaded--I felt dirty," Phillip Rivers disclosed to reporters when asked how he felt about the questionable reaction coach Andy Reid had given to Rivers during Sunday's Chiefs-Chargers game.

"I'm not quite sure how it effects play of game, but it could certainly have long-lasting effects on the mental stability of our players," said NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, when asked to comment on the sudden rule change.

The rule change, officially taking a stance against booty bumping on NFL sidelines, will carry with it a 20-yard penalty on any future booty bumping.

When asked how referees will enforce the new rule, Goodell admitted that he has "no idea, but I'm sure everyone, including the players, would appreciate never to see Andy Reid booty bump ever again."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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