Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 November 2013

image for Ndamukong Suh of The Detroit Lions Furious That He Has Lost His Dirtiest Player In The NFL Title To Richie Incognito of The Miami Dolphins
Richie "The Bully" Incognito has said that if he had to he could eat an NFL football.

DETROIT - For the past few years Ndamukong Suh has actually prided himself in being the dirtiest player in the NFL.

The Detroit Lions defensive tackle is alleged to have scratched, stomped, and even bitten opposing players.

Suh was fined $100,000 by the NFL for spitting Tabasco-flavored bubblegum in the face of John Sullivan, center with the Minnesota Vikings.

The out-of-control Suh has even received a stern warning for pushing opposing team cheerleaders.

Ndamukong, which translates into Angry yak herder with a Napoleonic complex recently stated to Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that his NFL football trading card has been banned in 13 states.

But now it appears that there is a new dirtiest player in the NFL and his name is Richie "The Bully" Incognito.

Incognito will not admit it but his real last name is actually Lollipops.

Yes, Richie Lollipops is his real surname and as former quarterback Brett Favre recently said, his rather sissified last name could explain the reason for his very prevalent inferiority complex.

A highly respected New York City psychiatrist, who did not want her name revealed, stated that Incognito's hate for his real surname has caused him to throw temper tantrums and fits of rage directed towards others.

In a recent Dolphins lunch room incident, Incognito threw a chicken enchilada at fellow teammate Jonathan Martin which caused some bruising to his left ear.

He has also threatened to body slam a hot dog vendor simply because the vendor did not give him a discount.

SIDENOTE: The way things are going, Mr. Richie Incognito could end up being the dirtiest player in the NFL who has been banned from ever again playing in the NFL.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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