Newly retired Sir Alec Fergieson has revealed in his new book he turned down the chance to manage England twice but, if asked for a third time, would definitely accept the job... with conditions.
Fergie revealed he turned down the chance to replace Glenn 'Glenda' Hoddle in 1999 when Glenda was sacked for making comments about the disabled. The FA turned to him a second time in 2000 when Kevin 'Love It' Keegan walked away claiming he wasn't up to the job.
Sir Alec was happy at Manchester United at the time, and considered the offer for about 10 seconds before refusing. Now he is retired, and looking for one last pay-day he layed down his three conditions to the FA...
1. All 'England' home matches to be moved from Wembley to Glasgow
2. Qualifying preocedures to be relaxed so manager can choose players born in Scotland.
3. England team to be renamed 'Scotchland'
It is believed this is the only way Ferguspuss could accept the job without getting lynched by the people in the 'motherland'
A spokesman for the Football Association offered no comment - which is technically a comment.
* Sir Alec Fergies book 'Grumpy Old Scot' is available from all good bookshops, and internet bookshops that don't pay tax.