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Sunday, 20 October 2013

image for Manchester United concede Premier League title to set sight on Europa League
United are still hoping to win the Lancashire Knockout Cup

Insiders at Manchester United have secretly conceded the Premier League title for this season - after just eight games.

Following defeats to Liverpool at Anfield, West Brom at Old Trafford, and a disappointing home draw with Southampton, United dropped to ninth in the table, eight points behind runaway leaders Arsenal. The directors have already given up retaining the EPL trophy, and will instead concentrate on Europe, but the Thursday night Europa League rather than the prestigious Champions League.

One of the Glazers was overheard in the VIP lounge on saturday remarking that appointing David Moyes to replace Sir Alex Ferguson was 'a mistake' but Sir Alex had insisted Moyes was the man to take the helm. It is believed he wanted the 'Scottish dynasty to continue in case he wanted to return'.

The clubs owners have now conceded the domestic title has gone and believe the red devils will be lucky to finish fifth, qualifying for the Europa League next season. They are not planning to sack Moyes, but will back him to win the Europa League either this season (after being knocked out of the Champions League) or next season. The insider continued "United have had their good run, now it is time for us to step back and allow Arsenal to end their barren spell without a trophy".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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