Following another disappointing result at Old Trafford - the 1-1 draw with Southampton which left United eight points behind leaders Arsenal - new gaffer David Moyes has decided to stop mentioning the 'F' word.
After the red devils failed to win at home for the second successive match (following defeat to West Brom) Moyes has decided to ban all mentions of former boss 'Fergie' whose shadow is casting a huge darkness over the footballing giants.
Moyes has decided to avoid references to 'Sir Alex' in interviews, and in a more drastic step, will sell all players signed under Ferguson in the January transfer window.
This means a conveyor belt of talent leaving Old Trafford will include Wayne Rooney, Robin Van Persie, David De Gea, Fabio, Nani, Vidic, Rio Ferdinand, Michael Carrick, Ryan Giggs and Antonio Valencia. Moyes will build a team around Adnan Jacuzzi and Marouane Fellaini. He is undecided about Wilfred Zaha, who was signed under Fergie but never played - good news for Moyes daughter Lauren!
Moyes will look to sign around 20 new players to replace the exodus, and is currently targeting David Mooney from Leyton Orient, Anders Herrera from Athletico Madrid, Aaron Ramsey from Arsenal, Cesc Fabregas from Barcelona and sixteen players from Everton.