Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 27 September 2013

image for Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy The Chicago Bears
Oprah has wanted to own a sports team since 1997. (Photo courtesy of Jay Cutler).

CHICAGO - The Windy City is home to the Bears, the Cubs, the White Sox, the Bulls, the Black Hawks, and to The Big O, Oprah Winfrey.

Winfrey recently appeared on The Viagra View and she confessed to Regis Philbin that she has made an offer to purchase the NFL Chicago Bears.

Miss Oprah, as Michelle Obama and Vice-President Joe Biden call her, said that she has been thinking about getting into the sports team ownership business since back in December of 1997.

She giggled as she said that she is a big fan of the Bears and now that they are 3-0 she is an even bigger fan.

Regis grinned and Oprah hollered out, "Now doncha be makin' fun of my weight Philbin cause I gots so much money I can buy you and your skinny sidekick Larry King and still have enough money left over to buy half of Europe."

"Yessum" replied Regis.

"That's a good boy" Oprah remarked as she leaned over and gave him a high five.

Regis then stood up and after giving Winfrey a fist bump, she gave him a chest bump that almost sent him reeling into the first row.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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