CHICAGO - The commissioner of the National Football League, Roger Goodell, has just announced to the news media that plans are underway to start testing NFL players for HGH, just as professional baseball has been testing for PED's (Performance Enhancing Drugs).
He stated that they are not trying to single out anyone in particular but the fact of the matter is that some of the NFL players are starting to resemble Japanese sumo wrestlers.
The commissioner revealed that if he had to make an educated guess as to what percentage of NFL players are using HGH he would put the number between 32 and 39 percent.
He did quip that when they do start testing for Human Growth Hormones he will be exempting all punters and place kickers since most of them are downright skinny and even Honey Boo Boo could look at them and tell that they have never taken any HGH's.
The NFL has said that the first time a player is tested, the test will be paid for by the NFL, but any subsequent tests will be charged to the player and the cost per test is about $318.
SIDENOTE: The commissioner also pointed out that ever since NFL players started taking HGH's the amount of Gatorade consumed by each team has more than tripled.