Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 31 August 2013

image for Major League Baseball Mascot Reprimanded For Failing Performance Enhancing Drug Test
Major League Baseball has vowed to totally get rid of PED's by the year 2019.

NEW YORK CITY - The Performance Enhancing Drug Scandal is really getting out of hand and it has now reached a new level or rather depth.

Major League Baseball has just announced that one of the team mascots has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs, hot dogs, and Cracker Jacks.

The MLB spokesperson who informed the sports media did not want to mention the mascot's name or the team he represents due to the fact that he is married and has nine children between the ages of 11 years and 3 months.

The individual was not fired but he was given a stern reprimand. He will be placed on three weeks probation and at the end of that time he will be tested again.

If the results come out negative, he will be allowed to keep his job, but should they come out positive he will be asked to turn in his mascot costume as he will be terminated on the spot.

SIDENOTE: Should the mascot end up having to be fired he will receive a severance pay of $25,000. This is due to the fact that Major League Baseball does not want anymore black eyes than it already has.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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