Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 28 August 2013

image for Houston Astros Have The Worst Record In Baseball
A baseball glove and ball that Nolan Ryan donated to the Houston Astros museum.

HOUSTON - The Houston Astros are not only at the bottom of the American League West Division, they are also at the bottom of the entire 30 teams in Major League Baseball.

The Astros are struggling with a record of 44-87. And many of their loyal fans are starting to abandon the team from the Bayou City.

Longtime season ticket holder Fanny Westego, 59, stated that she feels that the problem lies with the team name. She said that the name Astros sounds about as menacing as the name Guppies.

Mrs. Westwego said that the Houston executives need to consider changing the name to something more threatening sounding. She suggested that a much better name would be Hurricanes.

She pointed out that the name Houston Hurricanes not only employs the use of alliteration but it also gives the team a much more fierce sounding name and one that the Houston fans can be proud about.

Another Houston fan Pierce Carpetshark, 52, who said he has been a lifelong fan of the Astros, remarked that if the team does not get any better he will cancel his season tickets for the 2014 season.

IN THE WHERE ARE THEY NOW DEPARTMENT: Former Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines reportedly performed over the weekend at a Holiday Inn Motel in Galveston before a crowd of 12 people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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