NEW YORK CITY - Major League Baseball is embarrassed at the black eye that it has received due to some of its players using performance enhancing drugs in order to gain an unfair advantage in the country's national pastime.
Monroe "Knuckleball" Sailmaster, a MLB spokesperson stated that it is quite obvious that the 50 game suspensions are just not helping to deter some of the more determined players who insist on cheating.
He remarked that hitting the players with a monetary fine is also not working as it is equivalent to fining a Hooter's Girl one penny for showing up late to work.
Baseball executives will soon be meeting in Memphis to discuss what can be done about this growing PED epidemic.
One high-ranking baseball executive has suggested that perhaps the way to remedy this horrible situation is by starting to prosecute some of the drug violators and letting them sit in prison for a year or two.
SIDENOTE: One MLB manager who did not want his name revealed said that they definitely need to make an example of a PED user and that will wake up the other users and hopefully baseball will get cleaned up.